Death Magnetic.

Ok, I realize that no one who reads this will care (because those who would care don't know that it exists), but I just "acquired" the new Metallica album, and I have to say it is pretty damn fantastic. To be honest I thought it would suck even worse than St. Anger, which, given that disgustingly horrible album name should tell you how bad that one was; even if you never heard it. I would suggest giving "Invisable Kid" a listen for a good laugh...g-dspeed.



See...that was bad...like, REAL bad. The new album, however...not so much. It's WAY awesome.

Sally and my feet.

I have very soft feet and hate to wear shoes. I'm not entirely sure why I started this that way, but it's too late now...I don't want to start over.

Anyway, they are fabulously soft...except for my heels, which are worse than sandpaper and occasionally become cavernous and painful. In an attempt to cure this foot ailment I counseled my wonderful wife on what I should do. I had already tried using a foot shaving thing-a-ma-bobber, but that just made me have to vacuum the floor. Wendi then informed me that I should try a cream..."sounds good to me, let's go get one".

So, I got one and it seems to help. Along with that, I am very secure in my manhood, but I never thought I would be pimpin' some Sally Hansen. I feel so pretty now.

Font Conference

Ok, it might just be me, but I think this is the funniest thing I have ever seen. I would suggest watching it twice to get all of the subtle font references. Enjoy.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

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The Man Club (Warning...this may be a little graphic)

So, apparently there is a little secret out there for the mens and their nether regions that I just learned of...GOLD BOND BODY POWDER IS THE BEST THING EVER! I'm so sad that I never knew of the wonder powder before, but am so thankful to have recently learned of its comforting powers. What makes it even better is that the company is now letting everyone in on the secret that apparently gets passed down through the ages and missed me somehow.

Here is an excerpt from an article about said campaign that was aptly titled "Gold Bond Aims for the Nuts". I think you will agree that it kinda says it all:
"It’s an open secret: a quick dusting of Gold Bond Medicated Powder can keep a fellow’s junk feeling fresh as a tingly daisy.
Now, Gold Bond ad execs are explicitly targeting the man’s-junk market, via the sassy, double entendre-laden website/ad campaign PowderMyEquipment.com."

Make sure you go to the website...The ads are a hoot.

wtf?

On the way to work this morning I came across 5 different sedans, all with this same paint job. There was no brand logo or anything like that painted on the sides and they all had Michigan tags. Does anyone have any clue wtf these cars were doing? They all had something on the roof (the black thing in the pic) along with a camera mounted to the roof (the white thing in the picture). I am so curious I can't stand myself!!!

Testament

So, Matt and I were going to be able to mark one more band off the list of those that we wanted to see, but thought would never happen. Then that all came crashing down. On Sunday Testament was going to be that band (we were successful in marking the Subhumans off the list last year), but there was just one problem...They didn't show up. Word on the street is that the bus broke down, but I am in the same mindset as OJ from Byzantine (who was drowning his sorrows at Buffalo Wild Wings before going bowling instead of going to the non-existent show...very metal). Testament probably called about 7pm and said, "How many presales do we have?"...The Monkey Bar would have probably responded with something really lame like, "60." From that point Testament probably said "I would rather sit on a tour bus all night than play that show." Thanks guys...you ruined my dream.

The real shitter is that OJ said he called the bar at 6 to make sure it was still going on and they said yes...nice! So, instead off seeing Testament on Sunday I wasted 5 hours of my life riding in Matt's car (a smoke filled room on wheels) and hanging out with 25 pissed off 30-year-old metal heads.

It could have been worse. At least OJ shook my hand and acted like he remembered me. That's better than nothing...but it's no Testament.

trippy, man...

So, I just realized that I had this...I don't even remember that first post. Those kinds of things happen when you are high on life.

No, really...just life. I may act otherwise, but have no interest in any outside sources of happiness that would be considered vices...except for beer and I don't really drink too terribly much of that.

I wonder if it will take me another year and six months to realize I have this again...let's find out!