Yeah I know...

I know it's been a while, but to be fair it has been a really shitty month. The last thing on my mind was extracurricular time on a computer to type...extracurricularly. I really don't even have a whole lot to say, but I can't let Limp Bizkit be the last post any longer...I need to class it up with bald Britt. No, really I'm just doing the morning show and I'm super sick so this helps keep me from "falling asleep at the wheel", so to speak. Something fun though is this little tidbit of fun that I found; "Saved by the Bell: The Grad School Years". It made me giggle, but then again, it was 5am, so that might not even really be that funny. You be the judge.

Don't call it a comeback...

I'd like to start by saying that I don't have the time to really give this post the "love" it deserves, but it's just so damn funny that I had to post something.

The one band that really never needed to make a come back (ever) has announced that will indeed be the case...I case you didn't already guess...
Oh, yeah. I'm not lying. Limp Bizkit is really making a comeback. WOW!
Here is the proof
WOW! I really don't think I am ready for this again:or this:
and I know I can't handle any more of this:

G-d, be with us.

Alex Rodbeefcakeiguez.

So, you probably heard (because I don't actually know anyone who lives under a rock) that Alex Rodriguez participated in the Cartman diet a few years back. I like to think that it shocked me somehow, but I am kinda numb to it any more. The bit of solace that I can find in being a baseball fan in the steroid area is that at least it's not the 70's or 80's. I mean, in the 70's everyone was on amphetamines and in the 80's they were all doing cocaine. Maybe MLB's new slogan should be, "Hey, at least our players aren't doing crack!" That should sell more tickets and make parents feel better.

Wow, if you really think about it baseball should never have any problems like this. I know you hear a lot of players say as they admit their wrong doings that they were trying to get back from injury or that they were tired; and I will admit that baseball has a REALLY long season. Teams get what, like 15 days off a season with over 150 on? So, I guess I can see why they say it. But, what's wrong with taking a day off? Or for that matter, how tired can you REALLY get? It's a pretty sedentary sport. I mean I played it for 15 or so years and most days the only way I even broke a sweat was if I was catching or there was a lot of sun, very little wind and it was over 85 degrees. Screw 'em. Well, kinda...I'll still watch all season...I love baseball.

Cold Satriani.

So, Coldplay won some Grammy's the other night. That's all well and good, they are the kind of band that would win some Grammy's. I am a little disappointed in the "association" though. One of the awards was for Best Album. The track that won was "Viva la Vida". You know that song that they ripped off Joe Satriani? Have a look/listen:

Interesting, huh. Satriani and his layers were going to serve the final papers at the Grammy's, but decided to wait 'till after...I would have gone for it right then and there. Giving a Grammy for plagerism sets a pretty bad president...

Something fun though was this little blurb about the Coldplay performance at the Grammy's written in The Edmonton Journal from this morning: "Coldplay's Chris Martin sits behind a piano and sings Lost. There's no sign of Joe Satriani, but here comes rapper Jay-Z.Martin seems to be flubbing quite a few of his notes. His voice also sounds a little shaky as he launches into Viva La Vida with the rest of his bandmates. Could he be nervous? After all, this is the song which allegedly lifts a riff from Satriani's If I Could Fly."

There's nothing groundbreaking there, but it made me giggle.

jason.

So, while I probably won't go see the new movie the day that it comes out (a "blockbuster" horror flick on V-Day is sure to be full of loud, horny teenagers) I am still extremely excited for a nice, mindless slasher film. You know, like they used to make in the 80's where the story never changed, the virgins never died (neither did the killer for that matter) and the words "I'll be right back" should never be uttered or the character faced certain death.

I am however hearkening for those simpler times and, in turn satisfying that, by reliving all of the Friday movies again...all week. I watched four today and will probably keep the pace up all week. I brought in my little portable DVD player and everything so that it didn't "interrupt" my actual work. Crafty.

OG Premium.

Nabisco's Original Premium Saltine Crackers just might be the most awesome cracker product ever. They are definitely at the top of the saltine world. In saying that I would advise anyone who buys any other type of saltine wonder, such as the also popular selection:

CHANGE YOUR WAYS!!!
There is no need to skimp when it comes to saltine crackers!

Bowl of Rage.

So, when was the last time you listened to some Rage Against the Machine??? I honestly couldn't tell you myself, but something came over me yesterday and I busted it out. These instantly make me remember the cool things about being a young teenager. Granted, I am certainly glad that I'm not a teenager anymore for a myriad of reasons, but the good times can be remembered through a little Rage.

Beyond that, the Super bowl was awesome again...Does anyone remember how one sided the games always were when we were kids? Every year the Super Bowl was a blowout which made the games not all that "super" unless you were a fan of the team doing the blowing out (which, as a Jets fan, I never was). But, with that the commercials were always worth it.

The trend now seems to be that the games are fantastic, but the commercials seem to lack a little. While the advertising certainly didn't match up to last nights game, there were a few bright spots. I will present my two favorites:

Pepsi Max: "I'm Good"
Doritos: "Crystal Ball"

Again, it was a good game. The 4th quarter was especially good. And while I have no problem with the Steelers winning, I was most definitely pulling for the Cards, because as a Jets fan I can sympathize with them. Being a fan of a perennial loser in sports is a hard thing to deal with. I was hoping they might get a little pick me up. A little break from the constant losing...Now they just have to go on like I do, "There is always next year".

alright, alright...

Ok, so I said I was going to be here always, and then a bunch of stuff started happening at work (resulting in a different (cooler) position), and then there was the totaling of the Jeep (may he rest in peace), and then I just felt so far behind that I couldn't come back. Of course I also realize that about 2 people read this and they know what goes on so it doesn't really matter...plus, I think Wendi likes to read what I write because I am always right and she loves my sence of humor. So, I guess with that I can safely say, for the 57th time, that I am back...for good. Enjoy...enjoythemouse.


Don't ask about the picture...I just felt like there needed to be one there.

Death Magnetic.

Ok, I realize that no one who reads this will care (because those who would care don't know that it exists), but I just "acquired" the new Metallica album, and I have to say it is pretty damn fantastic. To be honest I thought it would suck even worse than St. Anger, which, given that disgustingly horrible album name should tell you how bad that one was; even if you never heard it. I would suggest giving "Invisable Kid" a listen for a good laugh...g-dspeed.



See...that was bad...like, REAL bad. The new album, however...not so much. It's WAY awesome.

Sally and my feet.

I have very soft feet and hate to wear shoes. I'm not entirely sure why I started this that way, but it's too late now...I don't want to start over.

Anyway, they are fabulously soft...except for my heels, which are worse than sandpaper and occasionally become cavernous and painful. In an attempt to cure this foot ailment I counseled my wonderful wife on what I should do. I had already tried using a foot shaving thing-a-ma-bobber, but that just made me have to vacuum the floor. Wendi then informed me that I should try a cream..."sounds good to me, let's go get one".

So, I got one and it seems to help. Along with that, I am very secure in my manhood, but I never thought I would be pimpin' some Sally Hansen. I feel so pretty now.

Font Conference

Ok, it might just be me, but I think this is the funniest thing I have ever seen. I would suggest watching it twice to get all of the subtle font references. Enjoy.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

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The Man Club (Warning...this may be a little graphic)

So, apparently there is a little secret out there for the mens and their nether regions that I just learned of...GOLD BOND BODY POWDER IS THE BEST THING EVER! I'm so sad that I never knew of the wonder powder before, but am so thankful to have recently learned of its comforting powers. What makes it even better is that the company is now letting everyone in on the secret that apparently gets passed down through the ages and missed me somehow.

Here is an excerpt from an article about said campaign that was aptly titled "Gold Bond Aims for the Nuts". I think you will agree that it kinda says it all:
"It’s an open secret: a quick dusting of Gold Bond Medicated Powder can keep a fellow’s junk feeling fresh as a tingly daisy.
Now, Gold Bond ad execs are explicitly targeting the man’s-junk market, via the sassy, double entendre-laden website/ad campaign PowderMyEquipment.com."

Make sure you go to the website...The ads are a hoot.

wtf?

On the way to work this morning I came across 5 different sedans, all with this same paint job. There was no brand logo or anything like that painted on the sides and they all had Michigan tags. Does anyone have any clue wtf these cars were doing? They all had something on the roof (the black thing in the pic) along with a camera mounted to the roof (the white thing in the picture). I am so curious I can't stand myself!!!

Testament

So, Matt and I were going to be able to mark one more band off the list of those that we wanted to see, but thought would never happen. Then that all came crashing down. On Sunday Testament was going to be that band (we were successful in marking the Subhumans off the list last year), but there was just one problem...They didn't show up. Word on the street is that the bus broke down, but I am in the same mindset as OJ from Byzantine (who was drowning his sorrows at Buffalo Wild Wings before going bowling instead of going to the non-existent show...very metal). Testament probably called about 7pm and said, "How many presales do we have?"...The Monkey Bar would have probably responded with something really lame like, "60." From that point Testament probably said "I would rather sit on a tour bus all night than play that show." Thanks guys...you ruined my dream.

The real shitter is that OJ said he called the bar at 6 to make sure it was still going on and they said yes...nice! So, instead off seeing Testament on Sunday I wasted 5 hours of my life riding in Matt's car (a smoke filled room on wheels) and hanging out with 25 pissed off 30-year-old metal heads.

It could have been worse. At least OJ shook my hand and acted like he remembered me. That's better than nothing...but it's no Testament.

trippy, man...

So, I just realized that I had this...I don't even remember that first post. Those kinds of things happen when you are high on life.

No, really...just life. I may act otherwise, but have no interest in any outside sources of happiness that would be considered vices...except for beer and I don't really drink too terribly much of that.

I wonder if it will take me another year and six months to realize I have this again...let's find out!

old skool...

I just might start going old skool. I know I have the jokes on MySpace, but sometimes I just miss typing about the dumb shit I see people do everyday. I think it's about time to get back to basics. And, while I have nothing to write about at this moment; trust that I will be on the lookout. I'll find something...it's never really much of a challenge.